Issue #5: Need a laugh? Good. Gotchu.
Have a very Elton Johnukah, a full ranking of supermarket egg nogs, sales + more
First, I promised to make you laugh so here are some jokes I heard from my elderly neighbor that made me snort-laugh:
Could Jennifer or Courtney row?
No, but Lisa Kudrow.
A German tourist jumped in freezing water to save my little dog who was drowning.
When he climbed out and gave me my dog he said "Here is ze dog, keep him warm and dry him off —he vill be fine."
“Are you a vet?" I asked.
He replied “Vet…? I'm fahcking soaking."
Smile-inducing:
Food & Wine tasted all the supermarket egg nogs. They ranked ‘em for you. Also, you didn’t ask, but a spoonful of store-bought egg nog in hot coffee? *so good*
Someone is photoshopping cat faces onto other animals. And it’s purr-fect.
Eye-opening:
OMG Goldie! All those pet gold fish that we’ve released into ponds, lakes and rivers over the years are totally out of control now. They’re apparently an invasive species and growing to MASSIVE proportions. Almost every body of water in New York is packed with gold fish now—and yes, the Hudson River has several established colonies.
The sky was pink in Texas. Briefly, anyway.
Florida has a pack of wild, herpes-infected monkeys. Carry on with your biz, friends. Nothing to see here.
What I’m loving right now:
Healthy stuff. I had the flu a few weeks ago and then pneumonia. After I got through my Rx meds, I doubled down on these game-changing probiotics and this WSH Magic Magnesium that has basically made me a new person. 10/10 recommend, and no, I wasn’t sent anything by their PR. I just love it.
This FoxyBae Super Styler Kit. It’s a pretty good, way-more-affordable dupe for the Dyson + it comes with a gazillion attachments. Easy to use. I know, because I use it like 4x a week.
This head massager is literally A DOLLAR and probably the best thing I’ve bought in ages. I mean, forever. It’s lightyears beyond those wire ones we all used to have. I bought 6. Not kidding.
Sales I’m shopping right now:
Madewell earrings for like $9? Okay. Sold. Done.
J.Crew pajamas are under $20 rn. If you buy one pair of pajama pants you can take an extra 50% off. Two pairs = 60% off, three pairs = 70% off. Some are literally under $12, so there’s that. Use code “BIGSALE” between now and Sunday to score the deal.
Brooklinen bath robes are $60 this week! Scoop ‘em up. Order today if you want ‘em to ship in time for Christmas or the end of Chanukah.
NYE shoes + bags are all up to 50% off right now at Nina. Sparkles galore, though I kind of love this little bag best for winter events + spring wedding season on the horizon. Oh, and it’s like $50.
It’s not too late to shop Amazon + prices keep getting cut. Black Friday keeps going and these under $20, under $50 and under $300 guides are overflowing with goodies for everyone on your list. Yes, they’re updated daily.
Musings:
Can we talk about the Meg/Harry Netflix special? Was I the only one bored to tears? I wanted to get into it. I wanted some scoop. I wanted some… something. I dunno, but I genuinely got close to falling asleep on the sofa so I switched to S2 of Firefly Lane, and THAT was good. Yell at me in the comments if you loved it. Sorry.
Remember last week when I called for your favorite hot chocolate recipes to share with the class? Well, an extra good one came in. See below, and feel free to send along your fave snack/drink ideas (with pics!) for the next round!
Maple Hill Creamery Healthier Hot Chocolate Bombs (low sugar)
Makes 8-10 cocoa bombs
Ingredients:
1 cup unsweetened baking cocoa
1 12-ounce bag or 2 bars of 80% dark chocolate
⅔ cup coconut sugar
1 tsp sea salt
Silicone half circle baking mold or large round silicone ice cube trays (overall circumference 2-2 ½ in. circles)
Make the Low Sugar Hot Cocoa Mix. In a mason jar or bowl combine cocoa, coconut sugar and sea salt.
Melt the chocolate. Place chocolate chips or broken chocolate bar pieces in a microwave-safe bowl. Microwave in 20-second increments, stirring in between until everything is smooth.
Fill the molds. Spoon some chocolate into the mold and use the back of a spoon or pastry brush to push the melted chocolate around the molds sides and edges. Place the molds into the freezer for 8 minutes to set. Repeat the process for a total of 2 times to be sure the side walls of the spheres are thick enough.
Remove the chocolate from the molds. Gently push and peel away the half spheres out of the silicone mold.
Seal the bombs. Microwave a microwave-safe plate for 45 seconds. The plate should be just hot enough to melt the chocolate. Place an empty half of the chocolate sphere on the warm plate for a couple of seconds, just until the edges begin to melt.
Fill. Add 1 tablespoon of hot cocoa mix and any other toppings you choose to one half of the sphere. Pick up another half and melt the edge on the warm plate then gently push and hold the two sides together until sealed.
Decorate. Drizzle on some extra chocolate or white chocolate, decorate with sea salt, small coconut flakes or sprinkles, or dust with the hot cocoa mix!
Serve it up: Heat 1 cup of Maple Hill 100% grass-fed organic whole milk, drop the bomb in, stir and enjoy!
Healthy topping suggestions:
Fresh Raspberries
Small sliced strawberries
Unsweetened coconut flakes
Cinnamon
Sea salt
Peppermint extract
Bourbon or dark rum
That’s it for this week! See you back here next week, when hopefully you’re curled up in pajamas, watching tear-jerking movies and snacking for the last few days of the year.
Was extremely bored with the last 3 episodes!!! Haven't watched Firefly lane yet - I think I am the only one.
Same on H + M (Harry + Meghan, not the store) and 100% agree on Firefly Lane S 2 - Obsessed!